Fix CNPG failover

Originally this issue was "Remove CNPG". It's now "Fix CNPG because there's literally no other option except to completely hand roll a Postgres deployment from scratch and I'd rather punch myself repeatedly in the crotch than do this" --- Postgres + Kubernetes is cursed. First, there was the dumpster fire that Zalando inflicted on the OSS world with their comically bad operator. Then there was the CrunchyData one, which was so tragically documented and maintained I think it might actually be some kind of militiary psy-op posing as a software project. CNPG was a breath of fresh air, because it actually works reasonably well on the happy path, didn't make a dog's breakfast of backup/restore, and has good documentation. Unfortunately, in practice, CNPG is also terrible. A light breeze knocks clusters over, and replicas constantly end up in a broken state that requires manual remediation. The final straw was today when I went around the cluster, replacing a bunch of ethernet cables with some nice short-length ones. Just yanking and reconnecting some cables was enough to bring down several of the DB clusters. I could dig into this, figure out a reproducible test case, and contribute that (and maybe even a fix) upstream. That would be the right thing to do. I don't want to fucking do the right thing here. I just want a Postgres database running in Kubernetes that is reliable and backed up. I think the best approach will to be just build a handful of DB clusters with the bitnami Helm chart and accept that they'll need some occasional petting.