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A momentary diversion (Diaries)

By llimllib
Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 02:08:51 AM EST

Repeat after me, in a Stuart Smalley voice:
I am on K5
I feel alive
Rusty is not an asshat
Good things can happen here

Okay, calmed down now? Come inside, let's have some fun.

Tell a joke. Your best joke, your worst joke, your dirtiest joke, your cleanest joke, your joke about how dirty MrQueue's underwear is, just let one rip. Tell a funny story, or relate something to everyone that has nothing to do with leaving this website.

Here's my contribution:

The other day, I was at the Philadelphia art museum, and some dude came trotting up the steps, doing the rocky pose like everyone else. I think he was even singing the song. Anyway, he came running up until he reached the last one and tried to turn around and show his silly pose to his kids, when he tripped on the last step and fell on his ass. I felt kinda bad, but it was pretty hilarious.

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llimllib's Diary

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A momentary diversion | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Here's a joke (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by TRASG0 on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 03:16:57 AM EST
(hijodelaserpiente.NOSPAM@yahoo.com)

this one time, this guy walked up to me. . . well actually he was just walking along the sidewalk and I got in front of him and when he tried to go around me I moved so I was still in his way . . . and I said to him hey man what if I stabbed you right in your fat face? And he said what? Get away from me! So I hauled out my big ass cold steel tanto and jammed it to the hilt into his eye socket. Then I sucked out his soft sweet brain through the hole in his head. It tasted like jam!

Dunno 'bout you but I'm laughing.

read my diary or I shall turn you into a newt

I'm not laughing (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by Emissary on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 03:31:45 AM EST
(bowenunderrscoreash.hotmail@com) I will sponsor anyone.

I'm salivating. Mmmmm... jam.

"Be instead like Gamera -- mighty, a friend to children, and always, always screaming." - eSolutions
[ Parent ]

Joke time (4.50 / 2) (#4)
by TheOnlyCoolTim on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 02:37:20 AM EST
(bolbro@cooper.thisisfordeletion.edu)

I am on K5
I feel alive
Rusty is not an asshat
Good things can happen here

ONE - Racist, dirty, sexist...

There was a very beautiful princess and it was time for her to be married. The king decided to marry her to whatever prince could make her scream during sex.

A White Prince went in and fucked her, but she did not scream. He came out and said, "Sir, I did my best, and we enjoyed ourselves, but I could not make her scream."

A Black Prince went in and fucked her, but she did not scream. He came out and said, "Shit, nigga, that bitch be mad quiet."

An Asian Prince went in and fucked her, and she screamed and woke up the entire palace. When he came out the king said "We all know Asians have tiny dicks, how did you make her scream?" and he replied, "Me chinese me play trick me put hot sauce on my dick."

TWO - sex

How do you tell a gay whale?

It likes to bite off the ends of submarines and suck out all the seamen.

THREE - sex, religion

Two gay guys are having sex when they are struck by lightning. For their sins they are both going to hell, but since they died at the same instant who entered hell first?

The one on the bottom - his shit was already packed.

FOUR - bad

A priest, a Jew, and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a fucking joke?"

FIVE - the capper - dead baby

What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?

An erection!

Tim
"This is a Brooklyn Bridge-bound six local train. Stand clear of the closing doors please."

MisterQueue's undies are so dirty... (4.00 / 2) (#3)
by Joh3n on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 02:20:39 AM EST
(joh3n<AT>mac.com)

how dirty are they?

They are so dirty that Mr. Clean, upon looking at them changed his name to 'Mr. I can't believe it's not pestilence...spray', moved to Finland, and now trains reindeer to act like the guy from the Verizon commercials.

Can you hear me now? MRRRRRWF!
---------------------------------
You can learn a lot about someone by popping in their un-rewound pr0n tape and seeing where exactly they came.
-terpy

Here goes (4.50 / 2) (#2)
by partykidd on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 02:18:46 AM EST

First off...
I am on K5
I feel alive I AM FREE!
Rusty is not an asshat
Good things can happen here

Now here's my joke:

Q. What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire?

A. He drowns!

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

Okay. (4.00 / 4) (#1)
by Michael Moore on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 02:15:08 AM EST
(CMF Board Member)

How many Americans does it take to "elect" George W. Bush?

A minority!

--
"My life was more improved by a single use of [ecstasy] than someone's life is made worse by becoming a heroin addict." -- aphrael

A momentary diversion | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

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